Sunday, December 4, 2011

This can't be..

Does Tiger actually know what he's doing for once?

well that's an exaggeration.

I hope he's realized his mistakes and can repair the cracks.

Aye, if I ever establish such a house, good luck to me. I imagine myself with such a responsibility, and yet what I would give to stay without it right now..

Thursday, November 17, 2011

And it turned out that that day had some bad news too.

I do wonder why I am someone to be concerned for. Perhaps I should make my motives clear to them.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Oh Lion....

Anyone else for him and it would've been interesting.

I guess this is interesting too.

Poor doggy, not making it into the record.

Yes there are dogs now. They are the dogs. Now I need dog titles for them. Dang.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Weird Feeling

...the future contains awesomeness.

So does the present. But before long, that becomes the past, which is even more irrelevant.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Snow Leopard's

Your birthday is supposed to be a special day?

What if you spend someone's birthday celebrating someone else's? I guess it means you're not as in tune with that person...

Aw well^_^ As darkness makes itself apparent from the past, let us find the lights of the future.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

So apparently I have a question for them

Problem is, I don't know what it is. Oh. Maybe I should ask. That could work. She said she would answer my question honestly, after all.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Monday, September 26, 2011

Another knight falls

Fell because of those around him. He was not slain by the monster.

It would do him good to help those who he let down. Help those who he cannot help anymore.

Rest in peace.

Let us make sure he can do that for us.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

And Here we are, Once Again

Let's see. A new matter at hand. May have identified them as a Lynx before... they could still be.

A day before had I posted this, I may have given her another title, but she is indeed a cat.

You know how you take a spray bottle and the cat doesn't like it? Kinda like that... but not really. Poor girl. Still, I suppose I've met worse. Oh yes.

We all have our problems, internal and external.

Anyways, I also noticed a trend.

So, this is my new thought. If it gets anywhere, I know where to look for help.

Also, I got a tumblr:)

... what? You think I'm gonna tell you what it is? Ha. Then again, everyone who ever read this blog probably has moved on and gone to people who need views, because they don't have much else to live for. Let their battles be gentle.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

I went to the Yule Ball last night.

Yes, that Yule Ball. Yes, I know; it's summer.

First time I went to see House Cat, it was for Christmas, then it was for Harry Potter; now a little bit of both.

I am quite clueless. Or shy, whichever you say.

All in all, a fun time. If I see Kitten next month... then I should look forward to Hallow's Eve. Otherwise, or if I shall repeat the last year, my Celebration of Defiance.

Well that was a word salad right there.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Wait a minute

My book is COMPLETELY ruined now!

I'm definitely making a censored and uncensored version.

And yes, I should totally feel bad for them. And I do. Maybe I should ask for details..

Anyways, that's the flow of life, I guess. I feel bad. I want to see Lion now. I want to make him feel better. Maybe talk to him about it.

He really is something. It must be killing them both.

If I do this the way I intended to do it, it will not end well for me, so I will change the story.

But then what if I'm accused of bias? IT RUINS SUCH A GREAT SCENE

I know, sounds selfish. But what's done is done...

So good news: I can work with new ideas on the ending now

Bad news: Something bad happened:(

Wait a minute

>Heard that T was SL's only
>Remembers Lion

Well then again, why would you tell something like that to your Royal?

I think I'll make a second blog

I have all sorts of ideas.

I want to make posts about speculation.

Maybe everything is just gonna go back to normal

I can't be that worse off than when I started

Tuesday, June 14, 2011


I am unimportant am I not? No one likes me for me. People just like me. I guess that's right... but people like other people. It's not fair that I'm so...

Other people have problems because their lives are in trouble.

My problem's not my life, but the person living it.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Saturday, June 11, 2011


Blood everywhere, House cat forgets me. Who remembers? My Sister is so nice... I don't want to drive her away. I did it, I bled all over them. I feel so bad.

No one wounds me. I wound myself and no one comes to my aid. One day this will end. The life of one like me... so interesting

And it was said
Make this one without the wisdom of pain
Nothing would come upon them,
And their tears shed in ignorance
Unable to understand anyone else

And it was asked
Then is this one cursed?
What is their purpose

And purpose was
So that knowledge of ignorance
Would bring good to them
The constant evolution
Maintained by the inability to justify the self

Princess asks "Why was I born?"
(How fitting I be the princess. I watched Lagann-hen today, you know)

 The answer: So that you could have asked that question

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

The reason I made this blog

was to cover up my wound. But I stopped. I let it all out. I keep pouring and pouring. It was horrible... that thing that happened. The wounds are too much.

I feel like a shell. I think I know how Robert had felt

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Some Blogging

I'm up to episode 25/26 in Gurren Lagann, but I want to finish Evangelion first. I'm watching Episode 19.

Working on Cruel Angel's Thesis on the flute.

Rough week. Standardized testing, but that's not why. Got better though.

Our House Cat's old companion is coming back to her, she says. We both know Him. He shifts in and out of existence for us. Maybe one day we can win.

The song "Libera me From Hell" or "Roh Roh Fight the Power" reminds me, both of this situation, and the one that you are probably experiencing if you follow this blog.

Physical or metaphysical, let's fight the power.

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Some People

Have that moment early on when they feel that they are starting to grow up... when they feel special and in the beginning of something wonderful.

I don't think I'm one of them. It's not all bad though; less disappointment.

Really: what do I have to offer? To receive?

I want the words.

And that will end before I get them.

Kinda like Nanny McPhee.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Panther Asks

You didn't find this blog did you, Panther? You might've even forgot to look like you said you would.

I'm not mad; that's a rather hopeful situation.

This morning what you asked... oh wow. And a Cat was there too.

Asking me about Kitten... here's my answer.

Kitty is a very important person to me. She licked my wounds when I was bleeding. When you made me bleed too. Sorry; that was unnecessary. I didn't(?) mean it.

I don't like being separated from her.

The thing is, I do love her, just like I still love you. But not like that now; just the memory.

Why not now? Because it was hopeless.

Sound lame? It is. But that's the truth. And you know what? This should change. I was supposed to be the one who could do the impossible. I was supposed to challenge the world, but instead, I'm stuck here bound to its laws and leaving it.

I need to ATTACK. Take it HEAD ON.

Easier said than done.

The emotional change is done, but I need to remember this for the future; I'm young; this is the time to do emotional science, right?

And to the Royals: To sum up your attitudes: What Do You Mean Its Not Heinous

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Haven't updated in a while

I've thought about so much, but I don't want to share it. I don't know if I can post here anymore.

Tiger has someone new; that's the news.

Oh. And I just want to mention my Sister; she reads around... this part of the Blogger neighborhood and if she found out I was writing this, I would like her to have been mentioned.

It sometimes seems as if she hates me, but... she doesn't.

Sunday, April 10, 2011


And Friday I was screaming inside. But... I couldn't write.

I think I'm getting better now though. But I got House of Leaves yesterday, so how much better could I get?

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Well the best way to summarize yesterday

I sympathize with the Columbine kids.

They were unstable... they did as they did... they did wrong. And yet, sometimes their words are in me. I don't want to won't hurt anyone though. That would be horrible... it would only result in pain for me and others.

Friday, April 1, 2011


Not never... but not soon...

I just want to be able to understand my limits without being considered a failure...

I'm not alone. And when I am alone, so what? Everyone has their flaws.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

I wait

Kill me and kill me again; I'll only wait for your life.

Hate me, but if you leave, please always come back. Tear me apart and put me back together. I could do it. I can do it.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Tuesday, March 22, 2011


Come back. Are you busy?

Do you think I love you? I don't have to... I just miss you...

but aside from that angst things are going pretty good. Half-aversary between Lion and House Cat coming up. Much fun.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

oh my

rabbit rabbit rabbit.

So amusing. At least I know that if this ends "badly" (and why shouldn't it), then I'll be able to take it.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

About... love?

A subject that came up to me last night. So it is my duty to write on it, correct?

Not love in general. Love for me. When I think about it, perhaps I never felt it. That is, in a romantic sense. Or perhaps I did, but not recently.

Well... I have felt such things. But is it justifiable? I really do fall easily. This including cases I have not acknowledged.

A crush, is a term that could suit the ways I could feel about certain... oh this is going nowhere.

What I am saying is that I think I should right now try to avoid such ideas. That I should wait and see if I can actually find out what these things mean before I claim them.

Is this normal? Is it okay that this feeling is so common and meaningless to me?

So... I'm done. Not completely done, but done to the extent that I acknowledge my powerlessness... that I know who I am.  know I have yet to learn what it is and how not to overuse it.

Such things don't fit me. That's what I once told the Kitten.


An added note; somewhat odd to put this here, but I must say, if I never can unveiled, that I give my thanks to Ocelot. Those who stumble and step; Ocelot watches the step... she gives remorse.

Perhaps it is better she does not, but I am still grateful. Thank you.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

To the Panther

If you have been successful in your quest, congratulations.

And I will say, I have had a wonderful time with you, Rabbit(?), Ocelot, Tiger... and the three four (Unnamed).

Thursday, February 24, 2011



... well, a rabbit doesn't exactly fit here...

and yet Rabbit... seems just so right. Well no it doesn't seem. It is. Therefore it is a shame to have to choose another name.

Friday, February 18, 2011

To Three -L-o-v-e-l-y- Girls I Met on Chatroulette

Ooh a little rhyme there!

I was worried from what you said. I thought, and I realized that I wasn't acting any different than the old me would.

It raises some interesting questions.

I'm sorry for my behavior. Still, it was a situation where it was best I not be personal.

I am seeing that these behaviors are risky... and clearly the idea of using Robert's (Sage) titles against a new /Construct/ would only help such a thing.

Thank you. You have been a great help to me.

You have given me a sword with which to help my wound.

But this sword's edge is (hopefully) dull. That way I will... that way is best. I don't want to cause pain. I want to help get rid of it.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Getting it all down made me realize something.

There's hope.

Thanks for being subtle

My explanation:

I'm unsure of how I feel. I know who you think(/know?) it is.

I've said to myself I do, but then I don't feel so sure. I don't think it's something I want to deal with now.

But maybe I should.


let's hope nothing horrible happens.

"Evil plan", eh? I've always wondered.


I've fairly often wondered.

I know. I know that this cannot end well. I know that I'm hopeless.


two years ago I was hopeless. I realized I was lost...

that can only mean that maybe I'm wrong. Maybe... maybe I can do something.

And if not, then okay. I just hope I don't get anyone mad at me.

Monday, February 14, 2011

and now

shit hits the fan.

Could be worse. A tall thin faceless eldritch abomination could be stalking me. That tends to suck from what I hear.


had some trouble with House Cat and Lion, but I think it's better now. She liked my card.

Lion and another are my two Valentines.              

Have a nice V-Day everyone. You deserve it.                                                                                                                                                                    

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Winter Formal


a bit hollow at parts, but by the end everything was nice:)

truth be told there was a time in the prep party I thought I was gonna cry... I'm sensitive. But it wasn't a big deal. What mattered was helping everyone have a good time:)

Most of us were there although Panther and a lynx weren't there. Panther makes me feel sad for her. I wanted to show her video, but it would just hurt her.

That kind of stuff tends to hurt me...

But yeah rode with Tiger and Kitten. Plenty of fun.

Desired results... maybe not so much. But this works:)

Everything works.

Friday, February 11, 2011


And the guardian spirit said

"Come to me, little princess. I will make it all better. Let us watch them burn."

and I was lost, and frightened, but came the operator to cast it out

let me heal that scratch,
clumsy little Hime has tripped

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

and some news


Hm... well more like gossip I suppose.

Here's what matters: Panther and I get along, House Cat and I get along... everything's fine really.

There was some talk with Panther on Snow Leopard; she is sensitive.

Ocelot and Tiger... things

I just feel so detached

Don't grieve sweet princess,

This is your past; nothing can be done.

Instead rejoice, for the possibilities of the future are endless.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Saturday, February 5, 2011

I feel so empty...

You haven't gone. You'll come. I know. But I still feel so lonely... I love you.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Tuesday, February 1, 2011


I post fairly often.

Kitten scratches on me. I'm confused; the sooner I can find the truth the sooner I can find a remedy.

Nothing can be healed forever.

Everything eventually is lost to this world. But nothing truly dies.

I'm confused. Maybe I should just talk to her. It won't be easy, but it seems to be the right thing to do.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

You're not really doing it

You're just... just doing stuff. Good for you, going back to your roots, but really, it's just gotten boring.

War's over. We won.


I mean seriously...

maybe I'm wrong. I'll see what I can do.

Friday, January 28, 2011


When you care about someone, it can make you feel... inadequate. If they help someone else, what did you mean to them? If someone else helps them, what can you do?

If everyone is good to everyone else... why is it good?

Friday, January 21, 2011

The way has changed.

Matt, Logan, Josh. They didn't know what they were up against.

Prism, Gretel, all the like, picked off by Him.

Now a new generation rises. People like Zeke, Robert, Ava, Zero, Thage.

They aren't the hunted. They are the hunters. Rather than the horror of an unfamiliar situation, people know of him and wish to know more so they know how to deal with him.

This is a problem.

For Him.

What you have done

I'm not like Thage. I'm just not.

You've pulled me into something bigger than what I wanted.

But I'll forgive you, Ava, and hope that you will be willing to forgive me.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

I should tell you

I'm in love with Kitty. There, I said it.  that I don't know anymore... I never do...

But I'm never sure, am I? I'm hopeless....

but in the positive way

but let's try and see a few negative things here

EDIT: Do I even know what love is? I went a year without believing I had it, yes, but maybe I did... maybe I loved them all... EDIT: But the point is, that if I did, then was it really love?

I don't know, I really don't.

Facebook's Magic Fortune Cookie:

Good luck awaits you.

It always does, doesn't it?

Friday, January 14, 2011


Exodus 20:16 "Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour."

The ability to lie means that you cannot trust someone. That is why I do not lie.

Well... is that completely true? I say things that are untrue, but are they lies? No, they are tales... games...

to the Royals, I have lied. Why do I do this?

The Royals and the Litter... what are they to me?

The Royals I have known long. Yet I cannot connect to them. To them I keep myself a secret.

The ones who know me most are among my Litter. And then there is the Outsider, who knows of me. They are my people. I do not lie to them. Because what I say to them matters.

nothing to say

and yet...

Thursday, January 13, 2011

It was just the reflection of the door

The Lion is off to new activities. The poor House Cat, all her life so sad...

she deserves her praises, does she not? The Lion most definitely knows how lovely she is.

Kitty, Kitty, Kitty. These feelings...

Monday, January 10, 2011

He's outside my window

But I don't really care.

The Tiger can get mad sometimes... I feel sad for him.

He seems to understand the wrong he had done. That's why he restrains himself, I suppose. He is responsible; he cannot help his emotions, or the Ocelot's.

EDIT: found out that some people are actually reading this. Feels quite nice.

Saturday, January 8, 2011


The Man... I don't fear Him directly. I fear what He can do to my Litter, and I fear something inside me. A spirit that tortured me, threatened to ruin me.

The Panther, she saved me, because of what I had felt.

Is the spirit back? Only, instead of a cute lovable cartoon, as a vicious monster?

I think I'm free, and then I watch Concrete Giraffes...

I feel like a sellout.

Anyway, I hope I can disassociate myself from Him; make sure I can be normal.

~your Princess

EDIT: Ocelot is TONS of fun. That's Tiger's "friend". She's Ocelot.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Everything's... okay

The Tiger and his "friend" are cute together; they are.

I can't talk to Kitty much.

House Cat was nice today.

Monday, January 3, 2011

I'm sorry

I'm sorry if I hurt you. I hope I didn't, but I worry. I'll have my chance tomorrow won't I? ;_;

Saturday, January 1, 2011

My Wound

The thing I should be talking about is my wound, right? I feel that I really lost control there. I did with the House Cat as well.

I don't want her to disapprove of me.

They played the song "Breaking the Habit"

I can sympathize with it now. I always liked it, but now, I understand it.

Wishes me luck?

~your Princess

Happy New Years!

Has the Tiger found a new Snow Leopard?

Oh the Tiger, amazing he is, truly. Not for this, but simply in that he has always been so admirable. Even if the rumor is true of what he had done, we can only forgive him. It is my sincere hope he not repeat this mistake.

He is interesting, no? Starting at the end, ending on Christmas Eve. Starting anew with the New Year?

The Lion did not contribute much. Notably the House Cat disapproved of my behaviors towards him. I understand.

Kitten and House Cat turned out to be able to attend after all. Sadly, they had to go early. Still, I had a wonderful time. Hugs are nice. But I'm still conflicted, am I not?

And of course no one wants to give the musical "Me and My Dick" a chance. It's much better than it sounds. You don't believe me, do you? It's on YouTube; well known thanks to their other production "A Very Potter Musical"

This really isn't the place... but I spent a significant amount of time trying to get them to see it.

The first one to rise,
the first to fall,
and now he shall rise again,
all in all,
the Tiger is a legend...