Sunday, February 27, 2011

About... love?

A subject that came up to me last night. So it is my duty to write on it, correct?

Not love in general. Love for me. When I think about it, perhaps I never felt it. That is, in a romantic sense. Or perhaps I did, but not recently.

Well... I have felt such things. But is it justifiable? I really do fall easily. This including cases I have not acknowledged.

A crush, is a term that could suit the ways I could feel about certain... oh this is going nowhere.

What I am saying is that I think I should right now try to avoid such ideas. That I should wait and see if I can actually find out what these things mean before I claim them.

Is this normal? Is it okay that this feeling is so common and meaningless to me?

So... I'm done. Not completely done, but done to the extent that I acknowledge my powerlessness... that I know who I am.  know I have yet to learn what it is and how not to overuse it.

Such things don't fit me. That's what I once told the Kitten.


An added note; somewhat odd to put this here, but I must say, if I never can unveiled, that I give my thanks to Ocelot. Those who stumble and step; Ocelot watches the step... she gives remorse.

Perhaps it is better she does not, but I am still grateful. Thank you.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

To the Panther

If you have been successful in your quest, congratulations.

And I will say, I have had a wonderful time with you, Rabbit(?), Ocelot, Tiger... and the three four (Unnamed).

Thursday, February 24, 2011



... well, a rabbit doesn't exactly fit here...

and yet Rabbit... seems just so right. Well no it doesn't seem. It is. Therefore it is a shame to have to choose another name.

Friday, February 18, 2011

To Three -L-o-v-e-l-y- Girls I Met on Chatroulette

Ooh a little rhyme there!

I was worried from what you said. I thought, and I realized that I wasn't acting any different than the old me would.

It raises some interesting questions.

I'm sorry for my behavior. Still, it was a situation where it was best I not be personal.

I am seeing that these behaviors are risky... and clearly the idea of using Robert's (Sage) titles against a new /Construct/ would only help such a thing.

Thank you. You have been a great help to me.

You have given me a sword with which to help my wound.

But this sword's edge is (hopefully) dull. That way I will... that way is best. I don't want to cause pain. I want to help get rid of it.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Getting it all down made me realize something.

There's hope.

Thanks for being subtle

My explanation:

I'm unsure of how I feel. I know who you think(/know?) it is.

I've said to myself I do, but then I don't feel so sure. I don't think it's something I want to deal with now.

But maybe I should.


let's hope nothing horrible happens.

"Evil plan", eh? I've always wondered.


I've fairly often wondered.

I know. I know that this cannot end well. I know that I'm hopeless.


two years ago I was hopeless. I realized I was lost...

that can only mean that maybe I'm wrong. Maybe... maybe I can do something.

And if not, then okay. I just hope I don't get anyone mad at me.

Monday, February 14, 2011

and now

shit hits the fan.

Could be worse. A tall thin faceless eldritch abomination could be stalking me. That tends to suck from what I hear.


had some trouble with House Cat and Lion, but I think it's better now. She liked my card.

Lion and another are my two Valentines.              

Have a nice V-Day everyone. You deserve it.                                                                                                                                                                    

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Winter Formal


a bit hollow at parts, but by the end everything was nice:)

truth be told there was a time in the prep party I thought I was gonna cry... I'm sensitive. But it wasn't a big deal. What mattered was helping everyone have a good time:)

Most of us were there although Panther and a lynx weren't there. Panther makes me feel sad for her. I wanted to show her video, but it would just hurt her.

That kind of stuff tends to hurt me...

But yeah rode with Tiger and Kitten. Plenty of fun.

Desired results... maybe not so much. But this works:)

Everything works.

Friday, February 11, 2011


And the guardian spirit said

"Come to me, little princess. I will make it all better. Let us watch them burn."

and I was lost, and frightened, but came the operator to cast it out

let me heal that scratch,
clumsy little Hime has tripped

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

and some news


Hm... well more like gossip I suppose.

Here's what matters: Panther and I get along, House Cat and I get along... everything's fine really.

There was some talk with Panther on Snow Leopard; she is sensitive.

Ocelot and Tiger... things

I just feel so detached

Don't grieve sweet princess,

This is your past; nothing can be done.

Instead rejoice, for the possibilities of the future are endless.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Saturday, February 5, 2011

I feel so empty...

You haven't gone. You'll come. I know. But I still feel so lonely... I love you.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Tuesday, February 1, 2011


I post fairly often.

Kitten scratches on me. I'm confused; the sooner I can find the truth the sooner I can find a remedy.

Nothing can be healed forever.

Everything eventually is lost to this world. But nothing truly dies.

I'm confused. Maybe I should just talk to her. It won't be easy, but it seems to be the right thing to do.